Find A Lawyer
Find A Lawyer Counter


The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Monday, January 24, 2011

by R J Shulman

NEW YORK - (PTSD - News Service) - MSNBC announced today that after a short time fill-in by Lawrence O'Donnell, Keith Olbermann's covented time slot will be taken over by Sarah Palin. "We had to dismiss Olbermann after he admitted he might have to tone down some of his rhetoric after Representative Giffords was shot," said MSNBC President Phil Griffin, "and it was only natural that we replace him with Sarah Palin who has vehemently denied any part in helping to create a climate of violence that could lead to incidents like what happened in Tucson. In addition," Griffiths said, "Olbermann secretly gave support to Giffords which may have helped her get elected in a tight race and therefore was responsible for making her a target, whereas Palin's website picture of a surveyors marks was an educational way to get voters to pay attention to an Arizona House race."

MSNBC spokesperson Jeremy Gains said that Palin will take over the Countdown program made popular by Olberman, "as soon as she learns a little bit more how numbers work."

MSNBC did not admit or deny the story that they will soon fire liberal talker Ed Schultz because with Palin, the network would only have room one person who liked to hunt and fish or the rumor that Rachel Maddow would also be asked to leave the network as Palin would be able to give a more mainstream women's view of stories in the news.
"This is a good first step to correct the long standing strangle hold that liberals have on talk radio and television," said Clifford Tibbits a spokesman from Comcast which recently received regulatory approval to acquire MSNBC. "I echo that sentiment completely," said Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Michael Savage, Laura Ingraham, Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, Neil Boortz, Lars Larsen, Mike Gallagher, G. Gordon Liddy, Michael Reagan, Mark Levin, Michael Medved, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, Lou Dobbs, Jerry Doyle, Bill Bennett, Roger Hedgecock, Michael Schmerconish, Dennis Miller, Rusty Humphries, Dennis Prager, Bill Cunnignham and Joseph Goebbels.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News Service) - In a complete turnaround, Democratic leaders in the Sentate will support the Repulican Repeal the Job Killing Health Care law that overturns recent health care reforms. However, the Senate verson will contain an added provision that will eliminate all government health care plans including those of all public officials.

"When Cheney resurfaced from his bunker the other day and predicted Obama would be a one term president becasue of his health care reform," said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, "it dawned on us that if it wasn't for the intervention of big government health care, Cheney would have been dead a long time ago."

"The Congressional Budget Office report shows that Cheney's five heart attacks have cost the taxpayers over three hundred million dollars," said Vice President Joe Biden. "If we don't reapeal all government health care soon, Cheney will send the deficit into outer space." The CBO report said the reason it was so expensive for Cheney's medical care is that "doctors were trying to do the near impossible - get a heart to work inside of Dick Cheney."

"None of us Democrats in congress mind giving up our health care benefits if it means Cheney gets cut off" said Senator Jeff Bingaman of New Mexico.
Senator Bernie Sanders (I-Vt) disagreed. "I will be willing to allow Mr. Cheney to continue his treatment, even as he supports denying it to others, in order to get to a single payer plan which is what we've needed all along." Sanders pointed out that congress is shooting it self in the foot. "They all think that repealing all government health care including Medicare, VA and their own personal benefits, just to cut off Dick Cheney won't hurt them. Just wait until congressperson tries to get private health care. They'll all be denied due to their pre-exisiting condition of hypocricy-itis."

The vote is set to take place in the Senate next week. President Obama is expected to sign the measure in the new spirit of bipartisanship.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

by R J Shulman

SANTA FE - (PTSD News Service) - As promised, the new House Republican majority flexed is muscles today by voting to repeal the health care reforms passed by the last Congress. With this action, Republicans voted to once again allow insurance companies to shun anyone with a pre-existing contdition, they voted to yank your child off of your health insurance policy, they voted to bring back the ability of insurance companies to pull the plug on any customer they feel is costing them too much money, even if and usually if they are in the middle of life and death treatment, they voted to send seniors back into the donut hole where they have to choose between the high cost of life saving drugs or food and shelter, they voted to add millions to the deficit according to the non-partisan CBO, and these Republicans voted to once again condemn 45,000 innocent Americans to death each year who would be unable to obain health insurance because of the actions of a panel of private sector insurance company CEOs and bureaucrats.

The Republicans are right about one thing, the private sector is better at running more efficient death panels than government employees at Medicare who don't seem to be as good at denying medical care as the private insurance companies have proven to be.

The Republicans made this futile (they know the Senate will not pass it and President Obama wouldn't sign it) and time and money wasting effort to repeal health care reform their first order of business, claiming it is the will of the American people to do all of the mischief as described above.

OK, so help me out here. Either when I was asleep, the American public suddenly became so damn mean they want to sentence people to death or is it more like what Steve Cohen (D-Tenn) said when he compared the pounding repetition of Republican lies that the health care reform bill was a government takeover of medical care to the repetition of the lies the Nazi's spread about the Jews in the 30s and 40s. History shows there were an awful lot of Germans who after such relentless repetition of such lies believed at the time that the Jews really were to blame for all of Germany's problems, just like recent polls showed that a great deal of Americans thought the health care bill was the first step into turning America into a socialist tyranny.

But I better tone this piece down now that we have been told that such rhetoric has no place after theTucson tragedy. However, I really don't believe we have to do that as the Republicans have repeated over and over again that their violent comments about hating the government and their constant gun totin' Second Amendment actions and analogies had aboslutely nothing to do with the bullets sprayed at a government official in Tucson and that it is perfectly OK to call their overturn of the health care reform the Repeal the Job-Killing Health Care Law Act. But just in case anyone reads what I wrote about how the Republicans don't give a RIP about life, health, or the American public and decides to take the radical action of not voting for them next time, I will be humbled and guilty as charged.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

by R J Shulman

After being criticized for her comments regarding the tragedy in Tucson last week, Sarah Palin has promised to face the pubic on a live unrehearsed and personal interview with Fox's Sean Hannity. "The public has aright to know the truth about the real victim of the unfortunate tragedy last week," Hannity said, "and of course that is Sarah Palin."

"The last thing Amercia needs in this time of out of control government spending is for the liberal press to continue their unrelenting attack on a great Americans such as Sarah by asking such biased questions such as 'what magazines do you read, like what that American hating Marxis Katic Couric did."

The Post Times Sun Dispatch has obtained a list of some of the questions that Hannity will ask Palin. Here are seven of them:

1. Just where is the public outrage over how the liberal press tried to make the recent tragedy in Tucson all about blaming you, Sarah rather than about how if the left hadn't blocked people from owing guns with too much government regulations, there would have been more citizens there who could have blown that Communist Manifesto Mein Kampf reading madman away before he could do that much damage?

2. Why does the liberal press miss the point that due to the dumbing down of our education system by greedy teacher's unions, Americans didn't learn the difference between surveyors markings like you used on your web sight aimed at liberal traitors and real gun sights which you are being falsely accused of using?

3. Isn't it amazing how liberals think they can get away with calling you an anti-semite for using the term "blood-libel" when not one of them has proven that Jews in fact did not steal Christian babies for their blood rituals?

4. Just how long will it take before Amercians wake up to the fact that the biased liberal media are too busy attacking you for defeding he Constiution with the very same weapons, guns used by our founding fathers, rather than to report the real story that Obama is planning to take away those very guns to give them to his band of crack-smoking Black Panther youth who now that Acorn has finally been disbanded for stealing the election for Obama, will now have nothing to do but carry out the bidding of Obama, George Soros and self admitted communist Bernie Sanders?

5. Isn't it interesting that the liberal media tries to paint the Tea Party as inciting violence when all they are trying to do is expose Obama for the dangerous commuinst dictator he is how he and his anti-American, Anit-Christian and Anti-gun agenda must be stopped at either the ballot box or bullet box and how it was really the liberals who started it ally by calling George W. Bush a war monger, budget buster, and that he looked like a confused Chimp who didn't know where to throw his feces next.

6. We all know how the liberal press has been after you, hounding you, tracking you down, pointing their left leaning media fingers at you. On this fair and balanced program, I will be just that, fair and balanced. I will be asking you fair, but tough questions so Amercians can learn just who is the real Sarah Palin. With that in mind, would you please tell us which of the three magazines that I am holding up in front of your face that you read on a regular basis?"

7. Tell us why in your own words, Sarah how important it is for good conservatives and independents to be lock and loaded, to keep their powder dry, their aim true and their finder on the trigger to be be ready to take down any liberals who blame your for using too many gun references in your speeches to Americans?

Monday, January 10, 2011

by R J Shulman

SANTA FE, New Mexico (PTSD News) - No sooner had the news media misreported that Representative Giffords had been killed in a madman's shooting spree, then the media machine began to try and explain what had happened. No matter what was said, however, it could not change the facts that a terrible event had occurred and the question that remained is whether this would be an aberration or the just one in a string of such horrible actions. Sadly, signs seem to point to the fact that terrible event will not change anything on our road to hell.

Some of the signs that there may be more Tucsons:

1. After months of pointing guns figuratively and and in some cases, actually at politicians who disagreed with them, and creating at atmosphere where violent opposition is acceptable, conservatives say this is not the time for fingers to be pointed at them.

2. Talk radio has dismissed that there could be any connection with almost two years of the constant drumming of talk of guns and revolution to stop health care reform and the shooting of Representative Giffords who supported that reform.

3. The call letters of channel nine in Tuscon, one of the main stations reporting on the tragedy is KGUN

4. America is the only so called civilized country that allows a "your money or your life" profit approach to basic health care and has about half of its citizens ready to take up arms to protect health insurance CEOs rights to bonuses that are at the very core of this system.

5. Sarah Palin whose web site had a gunsite aimed at Representative Gifford's district among others and who has directed a hate campaign against government, has not appologized that at the least she has acted in bad taste.

6. While condemning the shooting, no conservative elected officals have appologized for ratcheting up the rhetoric.

7. Right wing talking points blame the increase in violent rhetoric on some liberals who supposedly called George W. Bush a Nazi as much as years of right wing gun toting attacks on liberals and the government.

8. A poll of popular show Coast to Coast listeneres taken just two days after the shooting indicates that almost two thirds of people responding think that current gun laws are too restrictive against gun ownership.

9. Second Amendment gun rights have more avid supporters than First Amendment free speech rights.

10. There were more violent protests over health care reform that seeks to stop among other things, a greed driven system that causes more than 4,000 Americans to die each month for lack of health care insurance than over George W. Bush choosing to maximize his cronies and vice president's personal profits by launching two wars that may have killed over a million people and backrupted the US treasury.

11. Americans worship of celebrity for any reason will encourage more peopole like the shooter (whose name will never be written on the PTSD site) to get their name in the headlines by any means necessary.

12. George W. Bush is pitching a plagairized book on a nationwide tour, rather than having to protect his backside from other inmates in a maximum security prison for treason, war crimes and theft of taxpayer money.

13. The designated hitter rule in the American League has not been repealed.

14. Fox News

15. December 21, 2012.

I am sure if you are paying attention, you can add to this list.

Thursday, January 06, 2011

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON (PTSD News Service) - Just a day after announcing that they would participate in a historic reading of the US Constitution on the floor of the House Chamber, Republicans cancelled their plans when they discoverd the document contained the phrase "general welfare." "We had no idea just how much Obama's socialist conspiracy had infiltrated the very foundation of the country," said Representative Rob Goldlatte of Virginia.

"I am not so sure about "we the people" either said Michele Bachmann, R-Minn. "That sounds too much like 'the people's republic,' so I am suggesting that it get changed to "we the corporations becasue we all know that private sector does everything better." Bachmann's idea to replace the word "people" with "corporation" has received support from US Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts who said, "it is clear the founding fathers believed their new country would be better off run by well organized corporations rather than the uneducated rabble who might try and redistribute wealth."

The GOP agreed they would not completely abandon their plans to read the Constitution as they would read the Second Amendment for several hours. "We have to make sure Americans know how to deal with the creeping tryanny of foreign born presidents," Republicans said.