DEMS TO ABANDON GOV HEALTH CARE AFTER REALIZING IT'S KEPT CHENEY ALIVE

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News Service) - In a complete turnaround, Democratic leaders in the Sentate will support the Repulican Repeal the Job Killing Health Care law that overturns recent health care reforms. However, the Senate verson will contain an added provision that will eliminate all government health care plans including those of all public officials.

"When Cheney resurfaced from his bunker the other day and predicted Obama would be a one term president becasue of his health care reform," said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, "it dawned on us that if it wasn't for the intervention of big government health care, Cheney would have been dead a long time ago."

"The Congressional Budget Office report shows that Cheney's five heart attacks have cost the taxpayers over three hundred million dollars," said Vice President Joe Biden. "If we don't reapeal all government health care soon, Cheney will send the deficit into outer space." The CBO report said the reason it was so expensive for Cheney's medical care is that "doctors were trying to do the near impossible - get a heart to work inside of Dick Cheney."

"None of us Democrats in congress mind giving up our health care benefits if it means Cheney gets cut off" said Senator Jeff Bingaman of New Mexico.

Senator Bernie Sanders (I-Vt) disagreed. "I will be willing to allow Mr. Cheney to continue his treatment, even as he supports denying it to others, in order to get to a single payer plan which is what we've needed all along." Sanders pointed out that congress is shooting it self in the foot. "They all think that repealing all government health care including Medicare, VA and their own personal benefits, just to cut off Dick Cheney won't hurt them. Just wait until congressperson tries to get private health care. They'll all be denied due to their pre-exisiting condition of hypocricy-itis."

The vote is set to take place in the Senate next week. President Obama is expected to sign the measure in the new spirit of bipartisanship.