GOP HOUSE MEMBERS CANCEL READING OF CONSTITUTION AFTER DISCOVERING THE WORD "WELFARE" IN DOCUMENT

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON (PTSD News Service) - Just a day after announcing that they would participate in a historic reading of the US Constitution on the floor of the House Chamber, Republicans cancelled their plans when they discoverd the document contained the phrase "general welfare." "We had no idea just how much Obama's socialist conspiracy had infiltrated the very foundation of the country," said Representative Rob Goldlatte of Virginia.

"I am not so sure about "we the people" either said Michele Bachmann, R-Minn. "That sounds too much like 'the people's republic,' so I am suggesting that it get changed to "we the corporations becasue we all know that private sector does everything better." Bachmann's idea to replace the word "people" with "corporation" has received support from US Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts who said, "it is clear the founding fathers believed their new country would be better off run by well organized corporations rather than the uneducated rabble who might try and redistribute wealth."

The GOP agreed they would not completely abandon their plans to read the Constitution as they would read the Second Amendment for several hours. "We have to make sure Americans know how to deal with the creeping tryanny of foreign born presidents," Republicans said.