WHAT IT WILL TAKE FOR OBAMA TO FINALLY BE LIKED BY REPUBLICANS

by R J Shulman

Here is when Obama will finally be accepted by Republicans:

1. When Pigs Fly (and we don't mean Rush Limbaugh or Karl Rove flying on an airplane)

2. Hell freezes over and Obama announces that global warming is the biggest hoax since Acorn fixed the election for him.

3 The Chicago Cubs with the World Series (numbers one and two would surely have to come first)

4. When the cows come home and Obama announces that all the growth hormones are safe, frankenfoods are good for you and pestisides are your best friends

5. A blue moon (they will like him only once and then go back to dispising him)

6. Obama claims he was born in Kenya, is a Muslim Nazi Communist, resigns his office, but not until he boots out Biden and names Sarah Palin as his Vice President

7. After Obama privitizes Social Security, the military, ends all taxes to corporations and the rich, allows oil drilling everywhere, repeals all environmental laws, repeals the Civil Rights Act, reinstates slavery and child labor and renames Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day the Strom Thurmond National Holiday, fire all of his staff of Democrats and hire Glenn Beck and Michele Bachmann to pick their replacements, then Mr. President, the Republicans will like you --Nah, not even that will do it. After all that, they will get Dr. Laura to call you the N word.