INCENSED OVER END TO DON'T ASK DON'T TELL, MCCAIN ASKS TO BE VIET NAM POW AGAIN

by R J Shulman

PHOENIX - (PTSD News) - Outraged over the end of the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy, Senator John McCain flew back to Viet Nam to surrender in person to once again be held as a prisioner of war. "President Obama's flaming disregard for our military is more than I can bear," McCain said as he boarded a Hanoi bound jet at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport, "so I'm going back to happier times when a man could serve his country without fear when taking showers."

McCain, who sybolically drove a 1971 Ford Maverick to the airport, told reporters, "Even though the spot where I was kept prisoner in North Vietnam is now an American athletic shoe factory where they don't have to worry about safety and child labor laws, I will voluntarily lock myself in their store room and hold my breath until I turn blue, wait, scratch that, I don't want anyone to think I will turn into a Democrat as that myth was busted a long time ago."

Phuc Nguyen, manager of Ho Chi Min Peoples Captialistic Joy Factory, where the shoes are manufactured near Hanoi, said he welcomed the return of McCain. "To complete our victory over the imperialistic Americans," he said, "we need the Senator to give us more tips on getting the few remaining manufacturing jobs still left in the United States shiped over here."