TO BE MORE FAIR AND BALANCED, MSNBC TO REPLACE OLBERMANN WITH PALIN

by R J Shulman

NEW YORK - (PTSD - News Service) - MSNBC announced today that after a short time fill-in by Lawrence O'Donnell, Keith Olbermann's covented time slot will be taken over by Sarah Palin. "We had to dismiss Olbermann after he admitted he might have to tone down some of his rhetoric after Representative Giffords was shot," said MSNBC President Phil Griffin, "and it was only natural that we replace him with Sarah Palin who has vehemently denied any part in helping to create a climate of violence that could lead to incidents like what happened in Tucson. In addition," Griffiths said, "Olbermann secretly gave support to Giffords which may have helped her get elected in a tight race and therefore was responsible for making her a target, whereas Palin's website picture of a surveyors marks was an educational way to get voters to pay attention to an Arizona House race."

MSNBC spokesperson Jeremy Gains said that Palin will take over the Countdown program made popular by Olberman, "as soon as she learns a little bit more how numbers work."

MSNBC did not admit or deny the story that they will soon fire liberal talker Ed Schultz because with Palin, the network would only have room one person who liked to hunt and fish or the rumor that Rachel Maddow would also be asked to leave the network as Palin would be able to give a more mainstream women's view of stories in the news.

"This is a good first step to correct the long standing strangle hold that liberals have on talk radio and television," said Clifford Tibbits a spokesman from Comcast which recently received regulatory approval to acquire MSNBC. "I echo that sentiment completely," said Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Michael Savage, Laura Ingraham, Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, Neil Boortz, Lars Larsen, Mike Gallagher, G. Gordon Liddy, Michael Reagan, Mark Levin, Michael Medved, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, Lou Dobbs, Jerry Doyle, Bill Bennett, Roger Hedgecock, Michael Schmerconish, Dennis Miller, Rusty Humphries, Dennis Prager, Bill Cunnignham and Joseph Goebbels.