TRUMP SIGNS DIRECTIVE TO SEND HIS HARASSMENT ACCUSERS TO THE MOON
by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) Declaring he’s striking a blow for freedom, Donald Trump ordered NASA to begin a new moon landing mission.  “I want to give the lying ladies a chance to redeem themselves by being the first to colonize the moon for America,” Trump said.  Trump noted that he got the idea after watching an episode of the old TV show, the Honeymooners. “It just sends me into outer space when Ralph Kramden says ‘to the moon, Alice,’” Trump said.

TRUMP TO TEST VOTER THEORY BY SHOOTING SOMEONE ON FIFTH AVENUE
by R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) – Claiming the so-called fake news Russian scandal has not hurt his popularity one bit, Donald Trump plans to test his theory that “I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot someone and I wouldn’t lose voters.”
Trump plans to travel to New York City on Tuesday, stand in front of Trump Tower on 5th Avenue and 57th Street and shoot somebody.  Trump hasn’t disclosed who that somebody will be, but a senior White House spokesman said he may have heard the name “Flynn.”