HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE FIRST 100 DAYS OF THE TRUMP DYNASTY

by Unknown

MOUNTAIN BUNKER, MONTANA -  Today marks one-hundred days since Donald J. Trump took the oath of office in Washington, D. C.  Here are some of the highlights of the first hundred days of the Trump Era.

Trump renames the White House the Trump House.

Trump declares all networks as “fake news” and only grants access to Breitbart News.

Trump declares Obama’s Hawaiian birth certificate was fake, saying, “Kenya believe it that all along 

Obama’s birth certificate wasn’t worth the muslin it was printed on.”

Trump changes his catch phrase from “you’re fired” to “you’re dead.”

Trump blames mysterious fire that destroys the US Capitol building on illegal Mexicans, labor unions and Muslims and declares marshal law.

Exxon Mobil gets no bid rights to drill anywhere they hell they please.

Trump’s son marries Putin’s daughter to “consolidate the empires.”

Trump orders the death penalty for anyone who says he is acting like a tyrant.

Trump wins contest with Kim Jung-un as to who has the biggest missile, saying “I’ve got the biggest one, hands down.”

All fast food chains are declared illegal except Hardee’s and Carl’s Jr.

Trump leads military parade complete with nuclear missiles down Broadway in New York to attend the opening of a reworked play called Trumpleton.

Trump keeps promise to save Social Security from greedy Wall Street, but uses funds instead to build 100 statutes of himself in every state and 50 countries around the world.

Trump orders that Italian trains run on time in honor of his favorite Italian leader.

Trump scraps idea to build a wall between the US and Mexico and builds a wall between the US and Canada saying “we must keep those Canuks from illegally entering the US for our great health care system and our low drug prices and besides since I took over, no Mexicans want to come to the US anymore,” however, Trump has no explanation for the hundreds of Americans who are mysteriously found shot dead on the US side of the wall.

Trump suspends the 2020 elections, saying “believe me, they are rigged.  You’ve never seen such rigging since they built clipper ships.”