TRUMP PROMISES VOTERS DIPLOMA FROM TRUMP UNIVERSITY IF THEY VOTE FOR HIM

by R J Shulman

NEW YORK – (PTSD News Service) – Donald Trump said today that he will personally award a college degree from Trump University to anyone who will vote for him in November.  “By voting for me, a person will have proven they know everything that a Trump University education can give them, which is knowing that to be successful in life, you have to pledge complete allegiance to me” Trump said.  

“What I am offering is certainly better than anything crooked Hillary can offer,” he said, “what is Clinton University going to teach you - how to hide emails and force your husband to seek outside bjs?”

Trump said he will also offer voters a free ticket on Trump Airlines, “which never had a plane go down and I’ll throw in a Trump steak which never made anyone sick, both things that Hillary can’t claim about herself,” Trump said.

Trump shrugged off criticism that his offers amount to vote bribery by saying doesn’t the GOP stand for Gobs of Payoffs?”