TRUMP SAYS AS PRESIDENT HE WILL USE NUKES ONLY ON THOSE WHO INSULT HIM

by R J Shulman

TRUMP TOWERS – (PTSD News Service) – In an effort to calm fears that he would be trigger happy, Donald Trump told Fox News, “just because I could push the button doesn’t mean I would. Of course, if Megyn Kelly hadn’t made nice, she would be on my list, along with anyone who doesn’t give me the news coverage or respect I deserve.”

Trump said he had no plans to bomb North Korea,” because Kim Jong whatever his name is I can respect because he has a huge ego, although not as huge as mine.  But I can tell you this. I will threaten Putin of the Soviet Union or whatever it is called these days until he pees in his pants just to prove what a mature individual I am.”

Trump did not disclose whether he would use nuclear weapons on the states that did not vote for him in the general election, saying, “that’s as secret at my tax returns which I will disclose only after Hillary discloses that she is a communist lesbian who personally ordered Islamic terrorists to kill all Americans in Benghazi and personally murdered Vince Foster, JFK and Jesus and sent the hugest top secret American secrets to Putin of the Soviet Union or whatever it is called these days.  Only then will I disclose my tax returns.”