TRUMP TO PICK KIM KARDASHIAN AS VP; FEELS HE WASN’T GETTING ENOUGH PRESS COVERAGE

by R J Shulman

NEW YORK – (PTSD News Service) – Donald Trump announced today that he will select Kim Kardashian as his vice presidential running mate. “The press has been so unfair to me with their practical black out of my huge hands-on campaign, so I picked Kim, who’s no dog, mind you, to give me a fighting chance to make it into the news cycle.”

When questioned about Kardashian’s lack of leadership experience, Trump said, “Are you kidding? A great leader has followers and by time she takes office she would have more followers on Twitter than George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and Ronald Reagan combined when they took office.”

“I’m relieved that Donald chose Kim Kardashian,” said Ken Jautz, Executive VP at CNN, “Now we can downsize our reporting crew as we won’t have to cover any story other than the Donald Trump and Kim Kardashian march to the White House.”

The news of the Trump-Kardashian ticket exploded all over the media which wiped out any news coverage of the stories that World War III had started in the Balkans, a new incurable virus that threatens to wipe out all humanity was accidentally released by the CDC in Times Square, and a transgender woman may have used the wrong bathroom in Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina, only minutes after an innocent young child left that very same bathroom.