AMERICA’S BATHROOM CRISIS NOW NATION’S NUMBER TWO PROBLEM

by R J Shulman

FLUSHING, New York – (PTSD News) – State legislatures are racing to pass laws to curb the exploding bathroom identity crisis.  The question facing a typical legislator today regarding bathroom legislation is will he make it?

“Our bathrooms are awash in danger because who knows who is going to enter who knows which bathroom,” said Rip Sheets a Virginia Republican from Richmond who is pushing hard to dump a bathroom bill on the state house floor. “I am worried for my children’s safety if my bathroom bill stalls,” Sheets said.

“When I go the john, I want to see another John and not a Mary or a Mary who became a John,” said Senator John Johnson of Maryland.  “Whenever I see a pervert go in the wrong bathroom I get so pissed off that I beat the crap out of them,” said Manny Bowles, a North Carolina Republican.  Bowles defended bathroom restriction laws saying, “if those liberals don’t like it they can lump it.”

“This is the biggest bathroom crises we’ve had down here since the politically correct movement forced us to eliminate of our colored restrooms,” said Whitey Wright, a member of the South Carolina House.

The rash of proposed lavatory laws has created an unforeseen problem.  “We have so many of these bills draining state resources,” said Alabama State Senator Bill Plummer, “that our bathroom bill are completely backed up.”  So far, the only state not having a bathroom access problem it West Virginia, because as State Senator I. P. Freely said, “only one person at a time can fit in an outhouse.”