LAW SCHOOL NAMED FOR SCALIA HITS NEW SNAG OVER OFFENSIVE NAME

By R J Shulman

FAIRFAX, Virginia – (PTSD News Service) – Last week, George Mason University announced that it was planning to rename its law school in honor of the late Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.  However, the name “the Antonin Scalia School of Law” proved to be a poor choice as the acronym could easily be either ASSLaw or ASSoL.  After an emergency meeting, the school’s board of regents quickly changed the name to the Conservative University of the New Testament which then caused an even bigger negative response on social media.

“The third times the charm,” said Wilson Spaulding, Dean of the Law school.  “We have done careful research and will rename the school Southern Law University of Teachers because we value the teaching of law to others.  Wait… That’s just as bad, so we will go with our alternate choice which is has cleared the highest scrutiny.  The new name of our law school will be the Federal University of Criminal Knowledge.”