BERNIE SANDERS’ UNPRECEDENTED USE OF TRUTH AND HONESTY MAY IRREPARABLY POLLUTE AMERICAN POLITICS

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) – Political pundits are alarmed that Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders’ blatant use of truth, honesty and consistency may uproot and ultimately destroy the traditional values of American politics. 

“The Sanders campaign is riddled with disgusting true statements and reeks of the stench of a man who actually believes what he says,” said Clement Samuels, a Gaithersburg, Maryland political analyst. “Doesn’t Sanders know that the last socialist Jew who spoke the truth was absolutely crucified?”

“The positions he holds are the same anti-American ones he had before Al Gore invented the internet, Hillary killed Vince Foster and even before Obama was born in Kenya,” said Republican political consultant Frank Luntz. “Bernie Sanders, now there’s an unrepentant man who has not learned from his mistakes.”

“He is a complete disgrace to the entire American political system and will give politicians a good name,” said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell.

“When he refuses to take money from corporations he is refusing to take money from people as we all know that corporations are people,” said former Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, “and just how disgustingly anti-American is turning your back on the people?”

“If people like Sanders get elected President, we will no longer get involved in endless wars around the globe which will undermine the very foundation of our democratic republic – the military industrial complex,” said former Vice President Dick Cheney.

“Sanders is a real job killer, putting all those fact checkers at ABC, CBS, NBC and CNN out of work,” said former GOP presidential candidate Carly Fiorina.  When Fox News was asked about whether Sanders threatened the jobs of their fact checkers, Fox News Chairman Roger Ailes said “what’s a fact checker?”

Not every Republican is worried about Sanders unorthodox strategy.  Karl Rove said Sanders truthful rhetoric will have little lasting effect because, “if you tell the truth over and over again, the public will soon come to believe they are lies.”