BUSH SUSPENDS CAMPAIGN SAYING SCALIA CAN NO LONGER DECLARE HIM WINNER

By R J Shulman

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) – Jeb Bush suspending his presidential campaign today saying, “up until now my lack of voter support did not matter as my good friend Antonin could declare me president like his did for my brother W, but Justice Scalia’s untimely death means I can no longer prevail.”

Former First Lady Barbara Bush said she was disappointed and wished her son had been more aggressive and used two exclamation points after his name instead of just one.  Upon hearing that his brother had dropped out of the race, George W. Bush said, “Jebbie, you’re doing a heck of a job.”

Jeb said he would soon announce which one of the remaining GOP presidential hopefuls he will endorse, but no one seems to care.