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Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch

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Monday, December 28, 2015











GOP TO INTRODUCE BILL TO BAN ARABIC NUMERALS

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) – Republicans announced today that they plan to pass legislation that will make it illegal for anyone to use Arabic Numerals in the United States. “Using a number system invented by Arabs is the first step to allowing Sharia law,” said Louie Gohmert, R- Tex.  “They may have invented the zero,” said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, “but I have zero tolerance for them.” “We never liked that number system anyway, because it had a liberal bias,” said Senator Ted Cruz.


While Republicans seemed to be united in their desire to eliminate Arabic Numerals, they have not offered a replacement numeric system. “We will get to that in an undefined number of days,” said Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan.

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