GOP TO INTRODUCE BILL TO BAN ARABIC NUMERALS

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) – Republicans announced today that they plan to pass legislation that will make it illegal for anyone to use Arabic Numerals in the United States. “Using a number system invented by Arabs is the first step to allowing Sharia law,” said Louie Gohmert, R- Tex.  “They may have invented the zero,” said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, “but I have zero tolerance for them.” “We never liked that number system anyway, because it had a liberal bias,” said Senator Ted Cruz.

While Republicans seemed to be united in their desire to eliminate Arabic Numerals, they have not offered a replacement numeric system. “We will get to that in an undefined number of days,” said Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan.