PAUL RYAN: I WILL PUT AN END TO SENIORS AND CRIPPLES LOAFING OFF OF SOCIAL SECURITY

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) – On his first day as the new Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan announced that his top priority will be to introduce a bill that would end Social Security payments for “lazy takers who are not working.”  Ryan said the change is necessary because, “what kind of a message are we sending to the young people of today that it is perfectly alright to get a paycheck for just lying around?”

The Freedom to Work with Christian Values Act will immediately end all Social Security payments to seniors and the disabled and redirect the funds as tax breaks and incentives for the highest earners.  “This is a win, win situation,” Ryan said, “because we will give the funds to the job creators who will create the very jobs that the former loafing seniors and cripples can work at to pay off the debt they owe for taking taxpayer money for doing nothing for all of those years.”

Ryan said his next target will be to end Medicare.  “If people knew that they would have to pay for their health care needs instead of depending on the nanny state government for handouts, they would be more careful about making the right choices to stay healthy,” Ryan said.  Ryan said that the American People Healthy Choices Act will be introduced in December and will save millions of lives and taxpayer dollars. 

Ryan said that members of congress would still be able to receive Social Security and their health care plan because, “you can’t expect hard working congressmen and women to pass the right laws for the American people if they are too worried about their future and their health.”