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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015


by R J Shulman

CONCORD, New Hampshire – (PTSD News Service) – Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson said Monday on Sean Hannity’s show on Fox News that “the liberal press and all of its PC nonsense has once again misquoted me. What I said was that a Muslim was not qualified to be the Pope and a Pope is not qualified to be President as he must follow Canon Law and therefore it follows that a Muslim could not be president.”

Republican candidate Carly Fiorina told Fox News‘s Megyn Kelly that anyone who allows himself to get as badly misquoted as Ben Carson has recently is disqualified to be president and should drop out of the race.

Donald Trump told Fox News host Greta von Susteren that anyone who has a face as scary as Carly Fiorina could frighten the children and should be disqualified to be president and therefore should drop out of the race as fast as Hewlett Packard stock fell under her leadership.
Republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio told Fox’s Bret Baier that anyone who went bankrupt owing a casino is not qualified to be in charge of the greatest economy in the world and Trump should do America a favor and fire himself and then suspend his campaign permanently.

Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush said that any Hispanic who does not have clear policy on immigration was clearly not qualified to lead the country, and suggested that Rubio should just say ‘adios amigos’ and fade into the sunset.  Bush made these comments to Fox’s Peter Doocy.

Rand Paul told Bill Hemmer on Fox that anyone who actually thinks that George W. Bush kept American safe is too far out of touch with reality to occupy the Oval Office and said that Jeb Bush may be a loyal brother but, “brother is he wrong for America and I recommend that Jeb immediately cut and run, or more precisely not run.”   

Mike Huckabee told Fox News reporter Elisabeth Hasselbeck that he is shocked that Rand Paul thinks that Hillary’s war in Libya is causing the problems in the Middle East when everyone knows it’s same sex marriage that’s to blame and then asked Paul to leave the presidential race to clear the way for God’s anointed Christian candidates who know what the hell is going on.

Chris Christie appeared on Fox News and told Bill O’Reilly that Mike Huckabee should just shut the hell up and let candidates from states where the majority of people have a full set of teeth run on the GOP ticket so that the Republicans can have a chance to beat Hillary in the November election.  

Ohio Governor John Kasich told Fox News host Chris Wallace that a governor of a state with a failed economy such as New Jersey’s is not qualified to run the country and said that Christie should take a long walk off a short bridge to clear the way for the better candidates.

Texas Senator Ted Cruz said that the Republicans cannot have a presidential candidate who has a name like Kasich that is hard to pronounce and doesn’t sound American as it could lose votes for the Republicans.  Cruz was being interviewed by Tucker Carlson on Fox News.

Ben Carson in addition to clarifying his comment that a Muslim is not Pope material said that no one born in Canada, a country with a porous border that allows all kinds of illegal immigrants and illegal prescription drugs to cross the border unchecked is qualified to be a US president and therefore Ted Cruz should drop out of the presidential race. 

By the end of the day, according to the interviews of all of the Republican candidates on various segments on Fox News, the prevailing opinion is that not one of the Republican candidates is fit to run for the highest office in the land.  


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