CONGRESS PASSES BILL REQUIRING OBAMA TO REPORT IN EVERY EIGHT HOURS

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) – In a bipartisan compromise, the Senate passed a bill that requires President Obama to report to Congress his location and what he has been doing or saying every eight hours.  “After trying to negotiate with communist terrorist leaders in Cuba and then Islamic terrorists in Iran,” said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell who helped hammer out the compromise,” it is clear that Obama is out of control and needs to be on a short leash.”

Republicans had called for Obama to be incarcerated while Democrats wanted the president to simply address joint sessions of congress at the normal times.  Ultimately, the two agreed on the eight hour time frame. 

“I still think that Obama should be required to wear an ankle bracelet” said Senator Tom Cotton (R-Ark), “giving him free range will still allow him to pal around with terrorists, fist-bump bad guys, and shuck and jive with Christ’s sworn enemies.”  Some wanted to go even further, such as Senator Ted Cruz who said, “Obama cannot be trusted to keep America safe and should be deported to his home country of Kenya, Nigeria or Tanzania, wherever it is. We just can’t have a foreign born person occupying the White House.”  Others called for the Secret Service to count the White House silverware.  “It is American taxpayers, who paid for that stuff, you know,” said Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC).  “If we can’t stop crime in the White House, then where are we?”