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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Monday, March 09, 2015


by R J Shulman

SELMA, Alabama – (PTSD News Service) – Top Republican leaders plan to attend a rally at the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma, Alabama next Sunday to honor dozens of white Alabama Citizens who were injured fifty years ago when blacks gathered to march to Montgomery in support of voting rights. “All you hear in the liberal media is one side of the story,” said Senator Jeff Sessions (R-Ala), “we want to give a voice to the folks forgotten on that day – the white citizens of our fair state who suffered injuries in that day’s violence.”

Clyde Lee Stonewall, who was present at the original march five decades ago said, “You should have seen how bloody my fists got when some black faces smashed into my hands.” “I wouldn’t have suffered a sprained ankle from bodies smashing into my boot if those people had just gone home after church and turned the other cheek like Jesus told them to do,” said Bobby Jimmy Whippet who was also at the bridge on that fateful day.

Reflecting on the fiftieth anniversary of the incident at the Pettus Bridge, Tommy Billy Lucas, who was present at the march in support of preserving sacred Alabama traditions said, “I knew we should have stopped that march in its tracks. Like I said back then, if you let them vote, they just might elect one of their own to the Presidency.”

The keynote speaker next Sunday will be Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly, who claims that as a young reporter he rescued seven pregnant white women from the rioting thugs at the bridge that day.  Also scheduled to speak at the rally on the topic of why there is no longer any racism in America will be Former Texas Governor Rick Perry, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker, Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush, Senator Ted Cruz, Senator Rand Paul, George Zimmerman, the five conservative members of the United States Supreme Court, the former members of the former Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity at the University of Oklahoma and the entire police force from Ferguson, Missouri.


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