TOUCHDOWN! ROSETTA’S PHILAE PROBE SUCESSFULLY LANDS ON KIM KARDASHIAN’S ASS

by R J Shulman

PTSD News Service – ESA’s Rosetta mission has successfully soft landed on Kim Kardashian’s massive backside, the first time in history that such an amazing feat has been performed.   After a seven hour descent onto the surface of Kardashian’s posterior, cheers arose from those that worked on the mission when they received the news that a signal that confirmed the successful landing was simultaneously received at NASA listening stations in Madrid, Spain, Malarque, Argentina and South Beach, Florida.

“Our ambitious Rosetta mission has secured a place in the history books, not only is it the first to rendezvous with a Kardashian, but now it is the first to deliver a landing on a Kardashian  buttocks,” said a jubilant Jean-Jacques Dordian, ESA’s Director General.  “And besides, it has certainly redefined the term ‘moon landing.’”

The historic event was captured on film by fashion photographer Jean Paul Goude will be shown in its entirety in the latest issue of Paper Magazine.