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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Tuesday, October 07, 2014


by R J Shulman

ATLANTA – (PTSD News Service) – The Republican party of Georgia has responded to criticism that their newly passed voter identification laws have targeted certain blocks of voters who traditionally vote for the Democratic Party.  “We need to head off possible voter fraud before it happens,” said Charlie “Grand Dragon” Holmes, (R-Valdosta) who sponsored the bill.

The White Wash  Clean the Corrupted Voter Rolls Protection Act as it is called, will eliminate from the voting roles anyone who uses the word “axe” instead of ask.  “This law does not target black people,” said Holmes, “but keeps people from voting who give away their violent nature by using violent words for normal ones.”   Ty Griffin, an African American civil rights activist from Athens, Georgia, disagrees, saying the law does target black voters.  “All we are axing is for our right to vote,” Griffin said.

The law also disqualifies anyone from voting who is able to swallow a quart of Taco Bell Fire Sauce without calling for water.  “This is not to disqualify Hispanics,” Homes said, “it is just to make sure that people who might be hot headed are not allowed make the important decision of choosing our elected officials.”   Homes added that if the person yells, “Agua” or “no mas” they will not only not be allowed to vote, but will be deported.

The new law which requires picture identification, does not allow a person holding a student identification to vote but allows a person with a NRA or gun owner’s permit to vote twice.  “It is a sound public policy to limit the influence of those liberal communist professors who have infiltrated our colleges, universities and children’s minds and taken away their ability to vote what they know is right, “Homes said, “and this law is also sound public policy because it gives extra weight to those brave American patriots who freely exercise their God-given Second Amendment right to point a gun at a terrorist or two or someone else if they’ve had a bit too much to drink.”

By a 5-4 vote, the United States Supreme Court upheld the law as Constitutional.  “Hell, I wish all the states would adopt this law,” Justice Scalia said in his majority opinion.


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