Find A Lawyer
Find A Lawyer Counter


The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Thursday, August 21, 2014


by R J Shulman

FERGUSON, Missouri – (PTSD News Service) – Identifying herself as Jamie, a friend of Darren Wilson, the policeman who shot and killed unarmed teenager Michael Brown, a woman called Dana Loesch, a talk show host on KFTK a St. Louis radio station saying that the reason Wilson had to shoot Brown was because Wilson had just heard over his police radio that the teenager had recently visited Monrovia, Liberia, had contracted the Ebola virus and was planning to infect as many people in Missouri as possible.  A police spokesman quickly confirmed the story, saying it agreed with their understanding of the events saying, “Darren Wilson is a hero for fearlessly protecting the public from a dangerous heath risk.”

A few minutes later, a woman who identified herself as Joni, called the radio station saying she was Darren Wilson’s best friend and that the officer shot Brown because Wilson had just learned that the teen was planning a massacre at his high school.   A police spokesman quickly confirmed the story, saying that it was in agreement with their account of the events, saying that “Darren Wilson is a hero. Who knows how many children and teachers lives were saved by Wilson’s fearless action.”

Later on the Dana Show, a caller, who identified herself as Jamie said she was Darren Wilson’s ex-girlfriend and that Wilson shot Brown because the wayward teen was planning to illegally register people to vote in the next election.  A police spokesman quickly confirmed the story as tracking with their understanding of the events saying, “Darren Wilson is a hero.  Without his fearless actions, who knows how many fraudulent votes would have been cast in November.”

The next caller to KFTK identified herself as Jakki, Darren Wilson’s mistress saying that the reason Wilson shot Brown was because the young man was a secret operative for ISIS, the Islamist terrorist group in Iraq and Syria and that Brown had a shoe bomb hidden in his left flip-flop and was planning to blow up the St. Louis Gateway Arch.   A police spokesman quickly confirmed the story as being accurate saying that, “Darren Wilson was a hero.  What would St. Louis be without its famous arch?  Surely, Wilson’s fearless action eliminated the arch enemy of our great gateway city.”

After the next commercial break, a woman called the radio station identifying herself as Jenni, one of Darren Wilson’s split personalities saying that Wilson was justified in shooting Michael Brown because the scary teenager was….


Post a Comment

<< Home