GOP CLAIMS THAT CONSTITUTION SAYS OBAMA ONLY DESERVES THREE-FIFTHS THE RESPECT OF A PRESIDENT

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) – Republicans have struck back against critics who claim that they have been disrespectful toward President Obama.  “The reason that we have shown less respect to this President than any of the previous ones has nothing to do with his ideas or political party affiliation,” said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell.  “Our diminished respect has everything to do with the United States Constitution because a strict reading of the original version of Article I, Section 2 says that people of Obama’s background are counted only as three-fifths of a person.”  McConnell added, “that sentence, written with much thought by our founding fathers was unfortunately and illegally removed from the Constitution by Socialist Nazi Communist Muslim Terrorist Community Organizers some time back.”

“Heck, we have given this President more than three-fifths respect,” said Speaker of House John Boehner, “sometimes as much as four-fifths and speaking of fifths, I think I’ll have another.”

“Now, some may claim that a free person must be counted as whole as it said in the Constitution,” said South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham, “but when it comes to Obama, he was not born free.  He was born in Kenya and we know that is where a lot of non-free people traditionally came here to Charleston from.”

“The real reason we need to impeach Obama is that it looks like he has the audacity to exceed his authority to serve only his allotted three-fifths of an eight year term as President,” said Louie Gohmert (R-Tex.), “and we just can’t have such unbridled tyranny.”

“In the end it all boils down to what is in the Constitution upon which our great nation was founded,” said Senator Ted Cruz, “and the Constitution said that you count three-fifths of all other persons and Obama is certainly the ‘other.’”