GOP SENDS HILLARY A DEMAND LETTER LISTING EMAILS SHE MUST PRODUCE

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) – Republicans sent a letter to Hillary Clinton demanding that she produce emails they claim she is hiding.  The letter, authored by Senator Tom Cotton, fresh from this letter to the Ayatollah Khamenei, presents a specific list of emails that she must show the American people.  The letter was signed by forty-seven Republican Senators.

The following is the list of emails they demand that Hillary Clinton immediate release:

1.      Her email that hired the hit man to kill Vince Foster.

2.      Her email laying out the Clinton’s plans of bilking millions from other investors in Whitewater.

3.      Her email ordering all Americans to stand down in Benghazi right before the deadly attack.

4.      Her email to the Benghazi protestors telling them it was finally safe to attack the Americans, now that she had told them to stand down.

5.      Her email that ordered the CIA to destroy Barack Obama’s real Kenyan birth certificate.

6.      Her email that ordered the state of Hawaii to issue a phony Obama birth certificate.

7.      Her email to the IRS to target only conservative groups for audit and punishment.

8.      Her email ordering the establishment of death panels under Obamacare

9.      Her email ordering the construction of massive detention facilities to incarcerate anyone who did not follow President Obama blindly

10.  Her email that ordered the UN to send troops into the US to take away guns from legitimate gun owners

11.  The email that told Saddam Hussein where to successfully hide his weapons of mass destruction (in Dick Cheney’s bunker, because no one would notice a few more weapons)

12.  Her email that outlines her timetable for installing Sharia law all over the United States

13.  Her email to set up a program to castrate men who would not vote for her.

14.  Bill Clinton’s email that said “I did not email that woman.”

15.  Her email to have Bill Clinton castrated.

The GOP letter stated that if she did not disclose these emails within 24 hours, the House of Representatives would start a series of investigations that would tie her up so badly that she wouldn’t have a minute to campaign for the 2016 election.

“It’s about time the Senate stood up on their hind legs and put this Feminazi in her place,” said Rush Limbaugh. 

“Tom Cotton’s letter to Hillary is just as exciting as his letter to the leader of Iran,” said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. 

“I’ll drink to that,” said Speaker of the House John Boehner. 

“I used to believe that teaching children to read and write was God’s work,”  said Imogene Henry, Tom Cotton’s second grade teacher, “but now I believe that helping Tommy how to write letters was the biggest mistake of my life.” 

“I’ll drink to that, too,” said John Boehner.