WALKER WALKS, BLAMES UNIONS FOR NOT SHARING THEIR ORGANIZING SKILLS WITH HIM

by R J Shulman

MADISON, Wisconsin – (PTSD News Service) – Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker announced that he is dropping out of the Republican presidential race after a dismal showing in the polls.  “I should have used some of the unemployed union members who I got fired because if they know one thing, they can organize.”  Walker said it was a hard decision to end his bid for the Presidential nomination, “but after a conference with my cousin Johnnie Walker, we decided that quitting before I got even further behind was the best thing.”  

Walker urged other low polling Republican candidates to also leave the race because, “I don’t want to be the only loser to quit before the first primary and also as everyone knows, misery loves company.”   Walker thanked his supporters and said that his only regret was that “I guess I will not be sharing a Koch with the American people.”

Donald Trump said that Walker was a nice guy, “but a total loser who may be a good governor of Wisconsin but ran a cheesy presidential campaign.”

Charles Koch, who had supported Walker said that he was disappointed that Walker had dropped out of the race, but “sometimes the pony you bet on comes up lame.”