CRUZ PICKS FIORINA AS VP; CARLY SAYS SHE STILL WON’T SLEEP WITH HIM

by R J Shulman

FRENCH LICK, Indiana – (PTSD News Service) – Senator Ted Cruz, hoping to bolster his sagging campaign announced that his choice for his vice president was former Hewlett Packard CEO Carly Fiorina.  Fiorina who took time away from looking at anti-Planned Parenthood videos appeared with Cruz in Indiana, the state he called dibs on with Ohio Governor John Kasich in their bid to de-thrown Donald Trump said, “I am flattered that you chose me, but that won’t get me into bed, Ted.  Just because you chose me as your running mate, doesn’t mean I’m your mate.”

Although Cruz made his choice, he told reporters that he is keeping his options open in case he finds a woman who he has a better chance with.

Kasich, not to be outdone and in an attempt to show he’s a real conservative, said his running mate would be a Smith & Wesson .38 Special.