MEDIA VOWS TO END LIBERAL BIAS FAVORING SANDERS AND GIVE TRUMP MORE COVERAGE

by R J Shulman

NEW YORK – (PTSD News Service) – Responding to repeated calls for the press to end its overly liberal bias in their news coverage, major media outlets have promised to reduce stories about Bernie Sanders to make sure the campaign of Donald Trump does not get ignored. “We have been so distracted by meaningless issues such as income inequality and a rigged political and economic system that all we have been talking about 24/7 is Bernie Sanders,” said Ken Jautz, Executive Vice President of CNN News.  Les Moonves, President of CBS agreed saying, “We’ve covered pointless stories about the shrinking of the middle class, how no one can afford to put their kids through college, and stagnant wages when the real issue facing Americans every day is which bathroom a transgender should be using.”

“The media has ignored the will of the people by hanging on every word of some old bald Jewish guy kvetch about this and that when this is a Christian nation that wants to hear a virile God-fearing man with a full head of hair tell it like it is,” said Thomas Calicut of Media Watchers, a group that until now has unsuccessfully lobbied news outlets to stop their media blackout of Trump.

“We have spent so much time showing Bernie Sanders’ every move that we lost sight that the DNC has already picked Hillary Clinton as their candidate,” said J. Davidson Taylor, Vice President of News at NBC. “We promise to turn our attention to the true blue American success story that is the Trump wave sweeping across the country, and of course, the Hillary email scandal.” 

“Thanks to us in the liberal press, no one seems to know who the hell Donald Trump is,” said Dean Baquet, Executive Editor of the New York Times. “That will change, so by the national election, Trump will get the amount of coverage that will make him happy.”

So far, ABC, CBS, CNN, NBC, MSNBC, the New York Times, Washington Post and Facebook have all pledged to overcome their liberal bias and give Donald Trump a chance.  However, Fox News said they will not be changing their news coverage of Donald Trump as Fox President Roger Ailes said, “because we’ve gotten coverage of Trump just about right.”