BELIEVING CLINTON WILL BE DEM CANDIDATE, RNC GEARS UP WITH CAMPAIGN OF “FACTS THAT WILL F*CK HILLARY”

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News Service) -  The Republican National Committee held a secret strategy meeting to prepare for the upcoming national presidential election by developing a list of stories they will spread with political ads, on national political TV news shows and through their vast array of conservative radio talk show hosts.  “Donald Trump may love the low information voter,” said Reince Priebus, RNC Chairman, “but who we love more is the wrong information voter.”

The Post Times Sun Dispatch has obtained a copy of the top ten items from the “Phony Facts that will F*ck Hillary” list which are as follows:

She’s a man, baby.  Hillary is really Hilliard Rodham who changed genders to be able to go in the little girl’s room when your helpless little daughter is in there.

2.      One of Hillary’s deleted emails reveals she personally ordered ISIS to kill all Americans in Benghazi.

3.      Hillary has plans to confiscate your bibles and beer and replace both with the Quran.

4.      Another deleted Hillary email sent America’s secret nuke codes to both Vladimir Putin and the Taliban.

5.      Hillary peed on Ronald Reagan’s grave, twice.

6.      Hillary plans to outlaw NASCAR.

7.      Hillary will not only encourage same-sex marriage, she will outlaw heterosexual divorce.

8.      Hillary will take your guns and give them to blacks, Muslims, and angry lesbians and especially to black Muslim angry lesbians.

9.      Another deleted Hillary’s email reveals she ordered the Romans to crucify Jesus.

10.  Hillary will ban Viagra.

“Once these facts about Hillary are revealed again and again,” Priebus said, “Hillary couldn’t beat the love child of Osama Bin Laden and Adolf Hitler if they were running as the Republican Candidate which looks like that may be who she will be running against.”