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Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch

The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Sunday, June 26, 2016















ONCE AGAIN PROPOSED GUN SAFETY LAWS SHOT DOWN BY CONGRESS

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) - Democratic lawmakers may have to bite the bullet again and accept the fact that congress will not take aim at laws that allow a person on the terrorist no fly list to buy weapons. “Any straight shooter would have to agree that the NRA has been holding a gun to our head for far too long,” said Representative John Lewis of Georgia who had led a sit-down to protest the inaction of congress to pass gun safety reform, “because every time we try to pull the trigger for any gun regulation, the NRA sends out it’s big guns to fire away at any attempt to help put a silencer on gun violence.”

The NRA had successfully countered Democratic attempts at giving a shot to reforming gun laws by sending out it’s hired guns to put Democratic lawmakers in their cross-hairs and let their bullets fly to stop any gun legislation. “We can’t let some hot shot liberals use the recent shootings in Orlando as ammunition to claim they have the silver bullet to solve violent crime,” said Wayne LaPierre of the NRA, “so we are sticking to our guns, keeping our powder dry and staying loaded for bear to show those gun grabbers just how badly they have missed the bullseye.”


“Once again, we have dodged a bullet by blowing away the gun haters who are so damn trigger happy when they shoot off their mouths with some rapid-fire shotgun approach that supports some half-cocked laws that would strip Americans of their Second Amendment Rights, lock stock and barrel,” said Speaker Paul Ryan, “besides, if America was so gun crazy as these anti-gun  nuts think we are, our language would be riddled with gun metaphors, a belief that is clearly off target, misses the mark and shows not only that they were shooting blanks but the caliber of their misfire.” 

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