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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Thursday, October 25, 2012


by R J Shulman

TRAINSWITCH, North Carolina – (PTSD News Service) - Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney has launched an eleventh hour pitch to persuade undecided voters by saying that now that he agrees with President Obama’s popular positions, voters should chose him because, as a white man, when he pushes an agenda to Congress, it will not be rejected outright because he won’t be thought of as “arrogant” or “uppity.”

“Whether or not you are part of the 47% of the people that I don’t care about,” Romney said, “would you be more comfortable hearing about a strong American middle class, saving Social Security, or liking American cars from a guy who looks like successful businessman or hear it from someone who looks more like a guy who is selling crack to food stamp recipients in a dark back alleys? Most undecided Americans,” Romney said, “should be more skeptical of hearing about being tough on Islamic terrorists or getting healthcare to everyone from a guy with a foreign sounding name like Barack Hussein Obama than from someone named Mitt Romney, a name that sounds like an average guy who can relate to your problems when you have a drink with him at your corner yacht.”

Romney also said that Americans should choose him when they look to the future. “Since I now have the same basic views as President Obama does, the decision should come down to would you, the average American, rather have someone who looks like me or someone who looks kind of third-worldy pictured on the US Ten-Thousand Dollar bill that your children will soon need to buy a loaf of bread.”

Representative James Clyburn of South Carolina called Romney’s latest tactic, “both decidedly offensive and downright racist.” Romney responded by calling Clyburn, “pathetically naïve. Doesn’t he know it’s called a Presidential race?”


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