REPUBLICAN PARTY VOTES TO CHANGE THEIR NAME TO CHRISTIAN PARTY

by R J Shulman

 

NAZERETH, Pennsylvania – (PTSD News Service) – Emerging from a secret meeting held in this small northeastern Pennsylvania town, four miles north of Bethlehem, Republican leaders announced they have officially changed their name to the Christian Party.  This comes just days after the GOP announced the most regressive platform since Genghis Khan imposed his rule on the Mesopotamians, when he sacked Baghdad in 1258. 

 

“We felt that this election is clearly between the Christians, led by Romney and the Muslims led by Obama,” said RNC Chairman Reince Priebus.  He said that the name Christian Party was much more honest and truthful that what the liberals are doing by calling their party “Democrat” without following it with the word “Socialist.”  “Although you can’t have a Democrat without a rat in it,” Priebus quipped.

 

“We will urge all patriotic American Christians to join our crusade against the foreign invaders, whether their name is Obama or Sanchez who have been pouring into our borders like the Moors did to England before Christ was born,” said former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, who is expected to play an increased role in the newly minted Christian Party.  We’ll just have to sharpen our loins into swords and make sure our ploughshares are invested wisely,” she said.

 

The great news about this change,” said former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, “is that we don’t have to change our name from the GOP.  Now it will stand for God’s Own Party.”