ROMENOMICS: MITT SAYS HE WILL MAKE AMERICA BETTER BY MAKING IT PROFITABLE BY THE END OF HIS FIRST QUARTER IN OFFICE

By R J Shulman

PROJECTILE, New Hampshire (PTSD News Service) After last night’s sweeping victories in all four Republican primaries, Mitt Romney gave out a hint of his new economic plan saying, “I will make America the investment bargain it should be. Obama has the country tied down like a cash cow tethered by the iron straps of regulation, government interference with Wall Street and inappropriate taxes on the ruling class.”

“I will take off the shackles of crippling worker biased labor laws and all the stifling health and safety laws to allow our business in the US compete with factories in China, Singapore and Bangladesh,” Romney said. “Free enterprise must be free of all of the socialist Obama constraints that have caused the economy to crash after the marvelous success of the Bush years.”

Romney also said, “I plan to silence the sheer thuggery of the occupy movement by gathering them all up, strapping them onto the roof of the great American vehicle driven by the roar of private enterprise until these punks yell uncle or lose it in their proletarian pants.”