REPORT SHOWS

ROMNEY’S CAMPAIGN HAS SPENT MORE THAN $1.3 MILLION ON ETCH A SKETCHES

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON – (PTSD News Service) – You may have heard that Mitt Romney has already spent unprecedented millions of dollars in pursuit of the Holy Grail of the Republican presidential nomination.  But until know, you probably didn’t know that the Romney effort has expended $1,380,000 dollars purchasing a seemingly never ending supply of Etch A Sketches.

“Mitt just keeps breaking them,” said Dolf Whitney III, a Romney spokesperson, “The screens keep cracking spilling the gunk out and the knobs come off.  For example, on the day Rick Santorum quit the race, Mitt shook an Etch A Sketch so hard, a knob flew off and hit a campaign worker square in the eye.  That could have been a disaster, but thanks to Romney supported tort reform, ol’ one-eye won’t be able to collect a cent.”

Ohio Art, the Bryan, Ohio company that had made the Etch A Sketch since 1960, admitted that there has been a shortage in some stores due to the massive orders coming from Romney headquarters.  However, Richard Plugg, VP of sales for Ohio Art denies that the recent extraordinary breakage of their product is due to the fact that the mechanical drawing toy is now manufactured in China.  “Besides,” Plugg said, “I thought Romney liked to move things off shore.”