CHENEY WAKES UP FROM HEART TRANSPLANT AND TURNS HIMSELF IN AS WAR CRIMINAL

 by R J Shulman

FALLS CHURCH, Virginia – (PTSD News) – Former Vice President Dick Cheney awoke from a heart transplant walked to the bathroom, looked in the mirror and called federal authorities.  “When he came back in the room, he had a horrified look on his face and asked if you had to dial 9 to get an outside line,” said Camille Hitchings, a nurse at Inova Fairfax Hospital where Cheney underwent the heart transplant operation on Saturday.

Besides asking to be arrested for war crimes, Cheney said that he will write a book about the dangers of how oil has been causing global warming.  He also said that since he had the benefit of federal healthcare, that every American should have the right to the same kind of care as well.   Cheney said that even from jail, where he expects to live out a life sentence for his lifetime of unacceptable behavior, he will work tirelessly to help the less fortunate to get training to find jobs, for underprivileged children get a college education and for the development of alternative energy by donating all his wealth to the newly formed Cheney for Life Foundation.

The name of the heart donor remains a secret, but one of Cheney’s aides said he believes a conspiracy of liberal doctors must have slipped the former VP a Democrat heart.  “I don’t know what’s gotten into him,” the aide said, “but he seems to have had a change of heart.”