NOTES FROM THE AWAKENED HIPPIE - No More Phony Kumbayah

Today the Post Times Sun Dispatch debuts the first column by Forbert Cecil Yarish. Yarish was born in Occipital, Vermont some sixty-odd years ago and after reading Catcher in the Rye in second grade, ran away to Greenwich Village to become the youngest bongo player ever to take the stage at Gerde’s Folk City.  Sometime in the early sixties he met Timothy Leary and turned on, tuned in and dropped out.  He seemingly dropped out for good when he took three hits of the bad brown acid at Woodstock and went into a super deep Rip Van Winkle sleep.  He recently resurfaced and writes to us from deep inside an old abandoned coal mine in Grayson, New Mexico.  His column of his current musings will be presented from time to time as Notes From The Awakened Hippie - No More Phoney Kumbayah.    

Notes from February 26, 2012:

1.      What I want know is if Frankenstein Romney were elected president, would he run this country down the highway with the middle class strapped to the roof while his rich buddies got to ride in the crushed leather heated passenger seat? 

2.      Hey Newt, if you consider yourself “cheerful” at the debates, I’d hate to see you when you were angry or mean and if I was unlucky enough to see that I’d surely have to pluck out my eyes.

3.      Hey Sanctimonious Santorum, if you want to learn how to implement your moral values through government, just talk to the experts, the Taliban.

4.      I got news for all you paranoid control freak hypo-Christian home schoolers who are afraid that the public schools, universities and the real world will indoctrinate your offspring with Satan – 1) You can’t home school your kids forever, and 2) when it comes to indoctrinating them with the beliefs of Satan, you have already done a great job.

5.      Hey you Virginians who want to shove a probe up a woman before she can have a legal medical procedure, if you are serious about cutting down on abortions, instead of your invasive probe requirement, why not pass a law that before a woman can end a pregnancy, she must first have sex with Newt Gingrich, Karl Rove, Rush Limbaugh, and Chris Christie.  I bet the count of terminated fetuses in your demented Commonwealth hits zero.

6.      Tell me, hypo-Christians, if your religion believed it’s a sin for women to work outside the home and Equal Opportunity Laws said your organization’s hospitals couldn’t discriminate against women as nurses, how far do you think you would get by claiming the federal government was attacking your religious freedom?  So when it comes to providing legal health care to women, why don’t you do the right thing and treat them like human beings and then just shut the hell up.

7.      Rush Limbaugh - too bad that after your drugged-out pockmarked white ass went deaf, that your doctors didn’t restore your humanity instead of your hearing.  

8.      For all you lobbyists, banksters, CEOs and Wall Street whores who cry about the middle class starting a class warfare against you after you’ve spent the last thirty years sucking the wealth out of their pockets, your complaints are about as genuine as would have been Hitler’s complaining that the Jews he was persecuting were starting a discrimination war against the Nazis.

 I wonder how all you evildoers can sleep at night. Wait, you can – you’re all sociopaths.

 -The Awakened Hippie