FLA SUPREME COURT RULES “STAND YOUR GROUND” LAW ONLY APPLIES TO WHITE CHRISTIAN MEN

by R J Shulman
TALLAHASSEE, Florida – (PTSD News Service) – In a split decision, the Florida Supreme Court held that the state’s controversial “stand your ground” law can only be used by white Christian males. “This court could come to no conclusion but that white men who have accepted Jesus as their lord and savior are the only group trustworthy enough not to abuse the stand your ground law to cover up otherwise illegal murders,” said Florida Supreme Chief Justice Leo Thorns.

“Can you imagine if we let emotional women use the law, we would have a string of PMS murders, that is Panicked Mental State murders.” Thorns said that a woman might think nothing of blowing away a rival at a shoe sale, “if she thought she was in danger of the other woman grabbing the last pair of size 9 pumps at a 50% off sale.”

The law was reviewed by the Florida Supreme Court after Marissa Alexander tried to use the law to protect herself after she fired a bullet in her ceiling after breaking free from her abusive husband who as choking her. The court said Alexander was “too emotional to properly stand her ground.”

“The last thing we want,” concluded Justice Thorns, “is for armed coloreds, Mexicans and crazy broads running around misusing the Second Amendment as if those rights really pertained to them in the first place.”