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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Saturday, May 05, 2012

by R J Shulman

BETHESDA, Maryland  (PTSD News Service)  A comprehensive new study indicates it is not just the press that leans to the left, but mathematics, science and just plain facts that also have a pronounced unfair liberal bias.  “We had our suspicions because numbers were favoring Obama’s performance on jobs added and lost over the numbers posted by President Bush, when Americans know that Bush was pro-business and Obama is a socialist,” said Wayne Mentira, who headed up the study by the Heritage Foundation.   “So we were please with the results that showed that it was President Clinton who left Bush with a huge deficit and Bush who fixed everything and left Obama with a clean healthy surplus which he squandered on wars and failing banks, instead of the other way around as shown by the biased numbers and facts.”  

The study looked at a host of numbers, scientific results and basic facts and found that all three unfairly give preference to progressive and left leaning ideas.  “For example, the report says science  overwhelmingly supports the lame theory that global warming exists when everybody knows that this is a myth perpetrated by lazy scientists looking for tax payer grant money to fund ludicrous studies like what rats prefer to eat on Sundays,” Mentira said.

The fairness of facts was also found to be practically nonexistent.  An example is that facts have given the credit for killing bin Laden to America hating Muslim Obama instead of the patriotic Bush, who was first to say he was going to smoke Osama out and get him dead or alive.  

Finally the truth is out about how unfair and unbalanced math, science and facts are,” said Roger Ailes, President of Fox News, “everybody knows Obama tanked the economy and have brought the country to the brink of communism, yet facts and numbers show his ridiculous stimulus plan saved GM and Chrysler and shown some improvement since he took office.  Now we haver the proof that backs up everything we have been reporting on Fox News all along.”

The report, while touted by the Heritage Foundation as the most comprehensive to date on the topic of facts, will  not release its numbers, scientific methods or facts, until the Heritage Foundation can wipe the liberal bias out of them.  “This is an unfair world in which we live in,” Mentira said. “where for political gain, facts lie.”


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