CASEY ANTHONY SAYS NO TO WHITE HOUSE BID

by R J Shulman

ORLANDO - (PTSD News Service)  Casey Anthony made it official Today. She is not running for president in 2012.

The young woman, recently found not guilty of killing her daughter Caylee made her announcement to a crowd gathered near the entrance to Disney World. Anthony had recently been courted to run for the highest office by a group of top Republican Party leaders who had expressed dissatisfaction with the current crop of GOP candidates. “In this tough political climate, we need a candidate who can make tough decisions and most importantly, can get away with murder,” said GOP spokesman William Stains. He noted that not only does Casey Anthony have more recognition with the voting public than Romney, Cain, Perry, or Bachmann, but that she has more favorable recognition. Stains also praised Anthony for possessing another important quality of a politician, knowing how to lie, which she demonstrated when she successfully lied to the police about her daughter’s disappearance.

Anthony’s announcement came one week after New Jersey Governor Chris Christie said “fat chance” to seeking the presidential nomination and former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin said no to entering the race saying, “I don’t want to seek another elected office that I would have to resign halfway through.”

When Anthony was asked last week if she was bothered by the fact that being only twenty-two years old disqualified her for the presidency, Casey said that she had obtained a Hawaii driver’s license that showed her to be thirty-five. “Besides,” she told reporters, “If a Kenyan born black Muslim gay-loving fascist socialistic communist who hated America could be president, then why couldn’t a God-fearing, non-Mormon Christian southern white girl who was born in the good ol’ USA be the president?”

However, Anthony said that after careful thought about a possible run for the White House, that she would not run because she could have at least as much influence with Congress if not more as a contestant on Dancing With the Stars than as president of the Untied States. Anthony and Dr. Conrad Murray, currently on trial for the death of his patient Michael Jackson, are slated to appear on the cast of the next Dancing With the Stars.