ROMNEY UNVEILS STRATEGY TO LURE YOUNGER VOTERS: CORPORATIONS ARE PEEPS TOO

by R J Shulman

SOUTH FLIP FLOP, Massachusetts - (PTSD News Service)  Stung by the quick rise of Texas Governor Rick Perry, presidential candidate Mitt Romney announced his new plan to attract younger voters, who have all but ignored him.  "You've go to use their hep language to reach them," Romney told a group of supporters at the Out To Pasture Living Center in Billings, Montana. 

"The youngsters are important not only to vote but they are the future of corporations," he said. "If you word up on what the kids are putting down, then they have a chance to vibe where you're coming from, ya dig?" he said. 

He was met with polite applause.  "I like his hair," said Ethyl Pinckston, an 85 year old resident, "but I'll have to get my Belltone adjusted because I didn't understand a word he said.  "He seemed like a reasonable fellah," said Roman Chelski, "be he kinda looks like this guy who bought our company back in the 80's and sold it for scrap to some foreigners which put me and the boys out of work."

The Corporations Are Peeps Too campaign will be officially launched in Toolendye, Indiana, a once prosperous manufacturing town whose only remaining employer is the local Walmart.  "This town is a symbol of how regulations forced on corporations by the FDA and the EPA have sent business to China where they know that worrying about breathable air and drinkable water is the most job killing thing imaginable," Romney said.