RYAN SEACREST PLAYS TRUMP CARD, WILL ANNOUNCE HE'S RUNNING FOR PREZ ON IDOL FINALE

by R J Shulman

NEW YORK - (PTSD News Service) - TV host Ryan Seacrest announced that he will announce whether he will throw his hat in the ring for the Republican presidential nomination. "I see how much publicity the Donald got from his non-announcement for the job of the leader of the free world," Seacrest said, "and with Idol kicking Cele.ibrity Apprentice in the shorts in the ratings, certainly my running for the top spot should be in perfect pitch with the American people."

An unnoffical New York Times poll shows that Seacrest has already tied Trump for the lead among Republicans. with former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee a distant third. "Seacrest would make a fresh new face for the GOP," said Republican strategist Baldwin "Baldy" McPaunchley, "and Ryan's experience in shrinking the pool of contestants each week on American Idol could come in handy for him to further shrink the ranks of Americans in the middle class."

Not everyone is happy about Seacrest's plans to enter the primary. "Seacrest is nothing more than a shameless publicity hound," said Sarah Palin in a speech before the Naked Gun Owners of Dallas' national convention, "Why I bet that man doesn't even know what part of the 20th century we fought the War of 1812."

Seacrest said now that President Obama has released his long form Certificate of Live Birth, he will not jump on the "birther" bus, but is contemplating demanding proof from Obama that he is not a radical Muslim with an Anti-American preacher who never used affirmative action to get ahead.