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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Saturday, April 23, 2011


by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News Service) - Hot on the heels of having his budget passed by the House of Representatives, Republican Paul Ryan has introduced a new bill to futher reduce the federal deficit. The legislation, called the Patriotic Shared Sacrifice for Prosperity Act would require anyone who had received benefits through Medicare or Social Security to pay them all back to the US Treasury.

"This bill will finally put an end to the socialist dictates of the Democrat Party which have far too long allowed the out of control gorging at the public troughs by thier partisans," Ryan said, "and it's only fair that those that have unfairly lived off taxpayers pay it all back." The bill exempts payback from anyone who earns more that $250,000 per year and changes the tax code to totally exempt taxes from anyone who has a net worth of over $5 million dollars as well as exempting all CEO bonuses and all inhereted wealth over $50,000 from taxation. This 'done enough already provision,'" explained Ryan, "both stops the Marxist Obamanista attempts to redistribute the wealth from the successful to the lazy and will be an incetive for the poor to make the right choice next time be productive enough to be rich."

Ryan's bill gives Medicare and Social Security recipients six month to pay back the total of what they have received without interest, and after that time, payback will be at a modest interest rate of 29.99%. Republicans say this bill should make America solvent by 2038.

The Patriotic Payer bill provides that anyone who misses a payment will be relocated into "Senior Security Centers" which have been contructed by Koch Industries on a no-bid contract next to the "Teacher and Union Thugs Securtiy Centers"that Koch built earlier on a previous no-bid contract.

"Republicans were swept into office to clean up the deficits and long standing mismanagement of Obama and the Democrat Party," a GOP spokesman said, "and this new bill will give the Amercan people what they truly deserve."


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