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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (PTSD News) - He's eitheir done too little, too late or too much, too soon. He's not "kicked enough ass" or he has overstepped his authority and extorted BP out of $20 billion. No matter how you judge him, President Obama has been handed a spill that all the uiqlted Bounty and Dawn dish soap in the world couldn't handle.

But what would other other presidents said or done if the Deepwater Horizon blew up on their watch? Perhaps, it would have been something like this:

1. George W. Bush - "Who could have known there was oil in an oil well?"

2. Bill Clinton - "It depend on what the meaning of the word "spill" is."

3. George H.W. Walker Bush - "It's best if this mess is cleaned up by the private sector - a thousand points of light, a thousand Mexicans who will clean it up cheap."

4. Ronald Reagan - "I immediately order the reduction of taxes and increase of subsidies to BP so their profits can increase enough to trickle down to the people of the Gulf in their time of need."

5. Jimmy Carter - "Southern Gentleman be damned, if those f***ing greedy f**ks had listened to me about alternative energy sources, we wouldn't be up to our f***ing necks in this f***ing oil spill."

6. Richard Nixon - "Re-elect me because I have a secret plan to end the spill."

7 Lyndon Johnson - "BP better stop that leak or I'll release those pictures I have of their executives in compromising positions."

8. John F. Kennedy - "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do to stop the oil leak."

9. Dwight D. Eisenhower - "Now you know why I warned against the military industrial complex."

10. Harry S. Truman- "The leak stops here."

John McCain, had he been elected may have said something like, "I disagree with those anti-Americans who say there're economic problems in the Gulf. Their economy is in great shape."

or Sarah Palin, if asked what she would do - "I'll have to get back to ya on that, you betcha."

Of course the big question is what would Jesus do? Perhaps he wouldn't have drilled in the first place.

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