D'OH, BP HIRES HOMER SIMPSON TO PLUG LEAK

by R J Shulman

LONDON - (PTSD News) - BP CEO Tony Hayward announced Homer Simpson has been hired to develop new ideas to stop the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico. "Why not use a guy whose ideas can't be any dumber than the one's we came up with," Hayward said, "but who is alot more lovable than anyone at BP." Hayward noted another advantage is Simpson has been able to make people laugh at pending nuclear disaster so why not use him to generate a few chuckles about an oil spill.

"In addition," Hayward said, "we can cut the expense of those high powered engineers when Homer will work for peanuts, well donuts, actually." Garrison Hopper, of Hopper, Boles and Goniff, a PR firm hired by BP said, "Having Homer make the oil leak worse, as will surely happen will amuse Americans who'll feel good there's someone even dumber than they are. Besides, Simpson will further distract them from blaming Bush,Cheney and the congressmen of both parties who took money and looked the other way as BP cut corners."

Homer Simpson said his first idea was to use Marge's vacuum cleaner to suck the oil out of the gulf and if that doesn't work he'll convert the toxic mess into vats of Duff Beer. When asked if he was proud his father, Bart Simpson simply said, "I didn't do it."

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