REPRESENTATIVE JOE BARTON APOLOGIZES TO SATAN

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - Fresh from apologizing to BP executive Tony Hayward for President Obama's "extortion" of $20 billion from the oil giant to pay for damages caused by the Gulf oil spill, Texas Representative Joe Barton made another apology - this time to the Prince of Darkness.

"My sincere apologies to you, Mr. Beelzebub," Barton said, "because our president has been extorting political correctness out of Americans who otherwise could easily express their hatred for those out of work people with their hands out for government handouts." Barton said he was asamed to live in a country where tyranny forced decent taxpayers to provide healthcare, unemployment, jobos and other benefits for people who clearly did not deserve it. "Even the Buddhists know that there is suffering in life," Barton said, "especially for people who choose to be poor and black."

Democrats, except for conservatives like Mary Landrieu and Blanche Lincoln condemned Barton, and most Republicans tried to distance themselves from the Texas lawmaker by saying he made a poor choice of words to describe Obama's overreaching and immoral government spending.

However, conservative talk show hosts for the most part supported Barton. Michael Weiner, better known to his followers as Michael Savage said, "it's about time someone other than yours truey has the guts to tell the truth. I hope these free-loading vermin all die horrible deaths, but not before their cheap labor can be used to bust the criminal union scum." "Barton is right, my friends," said Rush Limbaugh. "If I want to call a spade a spade and a hoe a hoe, why should some spade and his hoe tell me I can't?"

"All this forced PC is the height of fascist communism," said Glenn Beck pointing to his chalkboard that contained a picture of Obama goose stepping while holding a hammer a scickle. "All of this mandatory kumbaya is making me sick," said Bill O'Reilly on Fox. Sean Hannity pointed out that it was unfair it is that "black people can use the "N" word and white people can't. I can see why Joe Barton had to apologize to the devil for this injustice."

Lucifer accepted Barton's apology saying he was looking forward to a long and warm relationship with the representative and all those who cared about other people in the same way he did.

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