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The Post-Times-Sun-Dispatch or PTSD is a newsource of serious political satire. Don't let a day go by without PTSD.

Saturday, May 01, 2010

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - Republicans announced they will run on a platform of limiting the size and power of government, unless they win in the upcoming November elections. "Republicans will prove they are the party in touch with the American people who have made it clear they want smaller government by making limited government the cornerstone of our fall campaign," said Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, "unless of course Republicans win control of the House and the Senate in which case, we will show that there are good things government can do."

The Republican smaller, less intrusive government platform will include:

1. Getting government meddling out of the corparate boardroom and into the private bedroom to make sure homosexuals do not ruin traditional marriage.

2. Getting government tyranny out of the wallets of coprorate CEOs and into the wallets of brown skinned people to see if they have proper papers to be in the United States.

3. Keeping Goverment hands off guns but firmly on girls who may have the audacity of wanting to make their own decisions regarding their reproductive choices.

4. Keeping government hands off of health care unless its to prohibit people from suing doctors and health care insurance companies.

"We are also in favor of term limits, for anyone who is not a Repblican," McConnell said. "We consider it our job to get the message across to the American voter that it is simple common sense to vote into government the candidates who hate government the most."

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