TEA PARTY ON TAX DAY: KEEP YOUR GOVERNMENT HANDS OFF MY INTERSTATE HIGHWAYS

by R J Shulman

WASHINGTON - (PTSD News) - The Tea Party rally in Washington brought a raucous crowd to protest the role of the federal government. "I traveled all the way from Michigan on my interstate highways to protest the government trying to take over our roads," said Mitch Schwineherd of Traverse City. "We must stop the government from interfering with Medicare, the post office and the National Guard."

"I'm protesting that Obama is trying to socialize social security," said Flo Wigmore who traveled all the way from Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, "besides I wanted to show off my sign showing Obama dressed up as that Communist FDR all in an old hat and wheelchair." "How can America sit by while this Muslim in the White House gets his death panels ready for Christian babies," said Doug Bollander of Weehawken, New Jersey, "so we have to wake up America before he gives all our nuclear weapons to the Soviet Union."

Tea Party darling Sarah Palin, spoke to a cheering crown in Boston saying "I can't wait 'till all you kind people vote me into the government I hate so much so when I cross the mighty Mississippi from Virgina to DC, I can unsocialze the government by throwing welfare mothers out in the street and take away their health care before they can pal around with any more terrorists." Palin said, "Watch out Harry Reid. I hear there's oil under your house and I can't wait to start drilling."

The socialist liberals are trying to impede progress," said Goober Hillschlager, an unemployed typwriter repairman from Anderson, Indiana who was dressed as a Revolutionary War soldier complete with ancient musket.

"It is quite astounding how devoid of facts these Tea Partiers are," said Tanya Welles, a Harvard history professor, "these low information protestors, or LIPS as I call them have been brainwashed by the very people who have been destroying the middle class and steeling their money," Welles said, "and I am afraid that the old saying is true that these loose LIPS will sink this American ship."

Walter Hines, an art student from Madison, Wisconsin said he joined the Tea Party rally to see what they stood for. "Frankly, I never thought I would say this," Hines said, "but these people make George W. Bush seem like Albert Einstein.

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