POULTRY PROTEST GOP HOPEFUL'S CHICKENIZED MEDICINE PLAN

by R J Shulman

TYSON, Arkansas - (PTSD News) - Chickens across the country are up in arm or wings, over the comment made by Sue Lowden, who hopes to unseat Sentate Majority Leader Harry Reid this November. Lowden said trading a chicken for medical services was a legitimate solution to the health care problem.

"What a dumb cluck that Lowden is," said Henrietta Peck, a two-year old Rhode Island Red, "Like most Repbulicans, she has no legitimate ideas on health care so she wants to pass the buck, buck, buck, buck, buck to us chickens." Crowley Beakman, a rooster, who presides over a farm in Tyson, Arkansas said, "If a chicken costs about three dollars and a breast implant costs about $3,500 dollars, Lowden's plans will make boobs of us all." "Lowden's plan is not only poorly hatched, it is nothing short of murder most fowl," said Chick Little, who is leading a poultry protest in Booneville, Iowa.

Lowden, who so far is number one in the pecking order to win the Republican nomination to run for the Senate, has not backed down from her comment, dispite the ridicule she has received. In fact, she has hinted that she will make this proposal the cornerstone of her campaign. "This strategy is clearly a mistake," said Winton Barley, a political analyst, "as it is dangerous to put all of your eggs in one basket." Lowden disagreed saying that come election day, she will be the one crowing about her victory.

A spokesman for Reid said it might be wise for Lowden to "shut her beak because it's not sound policy to count your chickens before they are hatched. Harry Reid said he will stand on his record of passing health care reform and said Sue Lowden, "is playing chicken with our health care crisis."

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