BP TO SHOVE OLD MEMOS DOWN PIPE TO STOP OIL LEAK

by R J Shulman

VENICE, Louisiana - (PTSD News) - Raymond J. Lucy, a spokesperson for British Petroleum said today that the latest plan to stop the oil spill in the gulf is to plug up the hole with massive amounts of paper. "There are tons of internal company memos of BP's policies regarding the financial need to eliminate shut-off valves and other saftety features as well as communications with Dick Cheney when he was vice president about shaping the American energy policy," Lucy said, "We don't need these anymore so shoving them in the hole in the bottom of the ocean is like killing two birds with one stone."

Lucy later told reporters that the only thing he regrets about the whole matter is that he used the dead bird analogy. "I should have been more careful with my choice of words," Lucy said, "because a bit of bad publicity can cause a company go belly up."

for the real news, visit CLG at http://www.legitgov.org/