OBAMA MAY HAVE TO SHUT DOWN GOVERNMENT: I CAN’T FIND APPOINTEES WHO PAID CORRECT TAXES
By R J Shulman
WASHINGTON – (PTSD News) – President Barack Obama announced today that he may have to shut down government because he cannot find candidates to fill cabinet and other posts who have not made mistakes in paying their taxes. This comes after former Senator Tom Daschle withdrew his nomination to head of the department of Health and Human Services and Nancy Killifer withdrew her nomination to be President Barack Obama’s Chief Performance Officer due to tax problems.

“I realized that Timothy Geithner as Treasury Secretary was the last appointed that we could allow who was tax return challenged,” Obama said. “I really goofed to think I could find candidates for my administration who knew how to pay taxes correctly. As soon as I discovered this problem, I had a large staff trying to find people who had paid their correct taxes, but the staff ran into trouble,” Obama said. “First, they couldn’t find anyone who had never made a mistake on their taxes and second, they had to fire themselves because they had all paid the wrong taxes sometime in their life.”

“Obama has his work cut out for him,” said Warren Parton of the Sterling Foundation, “there may be no one in the whole country who has paid their taxes correctly.” However the Post Times Sun Dispatch has learned that the new Secretary of Health and Human Services may be someone who sources say has actually paid the right amount of taxes, and that someone is Dr. Jack Kavorkian. “If his taxes are correct,” said a top Obama aide, “Kavorkian will be uniquely qualified for the Health and Human Services job and the Senate should confirm him by the end of the week.”